Running on Empty

A couple of years ago I was eager and set to impact the world. I was working at a bible camp and had the mindset that I was going to pour into everybody and anybody who was there. I was going to be a spiritual mentor to my staffers as well as a caring shepherd and teacher to all those students entrusted under my care each week. I knew it would difficult, but if anyone could do it, I knew it was me. I was as close to Superman as the next guy and believed in myself so much. It was going to be a remarkable summer. I would leave feeling like a king for doing the work of Christ every minute of the summer all summer long.

About mid-June I started to lose it. I was constantly tired, always crabby, I was filled with bitterness and resentment at how hard I was working and why I had to do more work than everyone else, I felt under-appreciated, and I was scared. I remember feeling so exhausted I would just lie face down on the floor and sleep after a long day. I was terrified that I was experiencing all these negative emotions and was only two weeks into the summer season; I was literally running myself into the ground.

Then came one fateful afternoon after our Day Campers left after their week program where I lost it. I literally went crazy and lost all control of who I was for about 90 minutes. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, talking but not making any sense, I was a wild child, knowing exactly how I should act but not being able to do anything about it. It was terribly embarrassing but my nerves and emotions finally snapped and I couldn’t do anything. My director pulled me aside and forced me to sit down so we could talk after the incident and I lost it again, this time though instead of being wild I just bawled. I bawled and I bawled and I just wanted to rest.

Good Intentions Bad Results

I wanted so badly to be Superman that summer that I disregarded my own walk with Christ for a large portion of the summer and in the end I paid for it. It was a hard lesson for me to learn, sometimes trying to be as selfless as possible is bad for you. If you continually neglect your own health (physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually) in order to help someone else eventually it will come back to you. After all you do your best ministering when you are insynch with God and that happens when your cup is full. In my attempt to be put everyone ahead of myself I let my own cup run empty and didn’t bother to try to fill it. I thought I could help people enough to get it back to where it needed to be. Life doesn’t necessarily work that way though.

As parents, knowing when to say yes and when to say no, is an important and critical truth to establish in our lives. As our children grow up we continue to work hard all day and then come home to minister and pour ourselves out at night. We have to know when to fill ourselves up so that when we do minister, support, love, and pour ourselves out we are more able to do so in a godly way. Otherwise, we run risk of growing bitter and angry with them, all because we didn’t take time to rest ourselves.

Filling up on Holy Spirit

Everyone is going to be filled and energized to do God’s wondrous work in different ways. I don’t believe there is any “one-size fits all” model but I do believe somethings are more inclined to help you feel God work. It’s important for you as a parent to explore different options and ways so that when your running on empty you know just what to do. For someone it might be going into nature and being surrounded by God’s creation through a walk and prayer time. For someone it might be plugging away on a guitar and just relaxing in the presence of God. For someone else it could be taking time to just sit and read and be still. Be confident in how you fill yourself up, God created you how you are, so don’t compare apples to oranges. There’s a chance what fills you spiritually also fills your spouse and that’s great; there’s also a chance what fills you spiritually doesn’t fill your spouse and that’s okay too. Do what you need to do to be filled so that in time you can out-pour yourself to your family, friends, and co-workers and then take time to rest, eat, and be filled again.

God is good. He will provide for you. He will fill you up. Take time to not only teach those around you but also to teach yourself. Be still and listen to God in the busyness of today. Christ showed us the power of being selfless in everything He did in life, but remember, even Christ would leave the masses after a while to be one-on-one with God and fill His own cup. Let us do the same and let us by the Grace of God do His work the way He designed us too, at one with Him.

Summer Bathtubs and Summer Oceans

“If then you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” – Colossians 3:1-2

Summer is a wonderful time. Most students begin the countdown to when summer starts at approximately the exact same moment that they realized t’s over. Needless to say summer is very refreshing for all of us after a busy year (especially students). Summer gives us a chance for nice weather and being outside. It gives us the chance to lounge around just a little bit more. For students and children it’s all about staying up late, sleeping in later, and doing nothing they don’t want to do for three whole months. It relaxes and calms us in a way that only time away from our busy schedules does. However, this momentary breath of fresh air is only that, a moment.

Summer is a bathtub of grace, joy and peace. We have the ability to soak in it for a while and it feels great! We look forward to it, it relaxes us and takes our mind off our problems and allows us to escape ourselves. Unfortunately, after a while the hot water turns lukewarm and suddenly it’s not as relaxing. It’s not as fun. It’s not our escape. If you fight through that period of lukewarmness and try to continue to live in that moment, eventually the water will become cold and suddenly you realize you are lying in your own filth. Our paradise at first has slowly transformed into a prison. That’s because bathtubs aren’t meant to be lived in. They’re not suppose to be our main source of joy and our well for hope.

Summer allows us freedom and fun, but if we prioritize summer above God and use that freedom to self-indulge in ourselves we will never be truly refreshed. If we fall into the logic that summer is our well for hope and joy we will let summer consume us more and more and God less and less. We’ll start to get skimpy with our prayer life and neglect the Word of God and think it’s for our benefit after all what’s more refreshing reading the Bible or laying poolside? However, we will soon start to pay for our negligence to Christ through: shallowness, powerlessness, vulnerability to sin, preoccupation with trifles, superficial relationships, and a frightening loss of interest in worship and the things of the Spirit. Summer is a foretaste of heaven, but it will never and could never be a substitute for heaven.

Summer is a bathtub. Jesus is an ocean.  Jesus is an ocean of grace, joy, and peace that never runs dry and always overflows. He is at the center of all things, created all things, and sustains all things. It is He who calls out to us “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” It is Him who can give us true rest and remove our burdens. It is Christ who faithfully and sacrificially laid His life down as a blameless, pure, and holy being through death by crucifixion so that we could freely accept the only grace and love that fills us. He is our ocean.

As we live in the moments of summer seeking refuge from the craziness that surrounds us, it’s vital to remember summer isn’t the freedom, it is Christ. Prioritizing time for Christ throughout summer will allow us true rest because we are using a glimpse of heaven with the power and love of giving Christ everything that takes us away from Him. Therefore if we look at the words of Colossians we can see the power of that mindset in summer. The mindset of remembering our prioritizes and not falling into the idolatry that summer is our hope and joy, because that will only lead to disappointment and emptiness. Putting our hope, anxieties, and faith in Christ and dwelling with Christ and seeking Christ is where we will find rest. We won’t find true rest by concentrating on the things of this world ever. It’s a valuable lesson we need to teach our children so they don’t fall in the empty patterns of the rest of the world. Because one thing is for sure, while we cannot live in the summer, we can live in Jesus.